The Humour section of Mars’ Hill is brand new, and has not been tested in years past. However talented and attractive Mr. Christopher J. Nash may be, he cannot run this section on his own. He will need a team of contributors who fancy themselves funny people.
If you have ever made anyone laugh in the past (even if it was only once), you could be considered a funny person. Simply submit that one funny joke or story that made you the hit of the party that one time. If any articles in this section fall short of entertaining the status quo the blame will be shifted toward you, the reader, for not contributing that one funny joke or story. Mr. Nash refuses to accept responsibility for a lack of humour in his section, as he can only produce so many witticisms in a two-week span.
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September 20, 2006 | Leave a Comment
Many of you may be asking yourself: what is Mars’ Hill? What does it mean? Why does it have that pretentious little apostrophe in its name? I asked myself those same questions for two years before anyone gave me a straight answer. So here it is, the mystery revealed:
In classic mythology Mars is the Roman god of war, and Ares is his Greek equivalent. They are basically interchangeable.
The Areopagus, named after Ares, is a location in Greece where Paul preached (see Acts 17). It was an open forum for the discussion of ideas and religious thought.
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September 20, 2006 | 1 Comment
I do not have ADD. I resent the very implication. I simply choose when and when not to pay attention. I have complete control over my imagination, and I can most certainly separate my daydreams from reality.
These were the thoughts rushing through my head as I sat in the Northwest auditorium, soaking in the knowledge and wisdom being offered by my professor. Yet like all things, my intense focus was temporary, and I began to drift. Moments later, I was riding with Jesus on my motorcycle. We were doing wheelies.
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September 20, 2006 | Leave a Comment
I am an exceptionally ethical individual. Probably even more so than yourself. But in all honesty, one of the reasons I refuse to cheat is that I might get caught and then people wouldn’t like me as much.
However, from time to time in grade school, I would give myself an unfair advantage on my arithmetic tests. Math was never really my strong point, so I learned to count well before I learned to add. Unfortunately, we students were forbidden to count on our fingers during addition tests, and I once failed such an exam because I was caught treating my left hand like a makeshift abacus.
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September 20, 2006 | Leave a Comment
Softwood lumber
Canadian International Trade Minister David Emerson and U.S. trade rep Susan Schwab signed the deal which could end the softwood lumber dispute, provided that Parliament consents. The minority Tory government is hopeful that the bill will pass, since the Bloc Quebecois has decided to support it. The terms of the agreement are as follows: Canada will retrieve four of the five billion collected in duties; the U.S. cannot launch new trade action; restrictions on Canadian exports to the States will resume if prices fall too low; and ‘Neutral’ trade arbitrators will settle future disputes.
Hamas politicians ordered released
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September 19, 2006 | 1 Comment
Drugs are destructive, but what should we do with that assertion when faced with the reality of drug addiction in the Downtown Eastside?
In September of 2003 Health Canada granted Vancouver Coastal Health an exemption under Section 56 of the Controlled Drugs and Substances Act and provided $500 000 per year to operate the InSite Safe Injection Site (SIS) pilot project. This is the first SIS in North America and as such is at the centre of much debate. Though there are many who argue for the necessity of the Vancouver SIS, including local businesses, resident advocacy groups, addicts, and many police officers, the Conservative government has ‘deferred the decision’ on the future of this SIS in Vancouver until December 2007.
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September 19, 2006 | Leave a Comment
When I think about the amount of water that I use on a daily basis, it astounds me. The fact that all the water that I use is readily available from a faucet is even more shocking when I consider that many people in the world must collect and carry water great distances daily. Moreover, most of the gathering is done by women and young girls. I live in a time in which it is easier for most people in wealthier nations to get clean water than it has ever been, and yet the supply of drinkable water in many poorer regions is rapidly dwindling.
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September 19, 2006 | Leave a Comment
Earlier this month President George W. Bush made a startling admission: Suspects in his ‘war against terror’ have been held at secret CIA prisons in as many as eight different countries since 2001. Bush refused to give many details about these prisons; their whereabouts, what information was obtained, and what methods were used to get inmates to talk were all kept secret.
One of Bush’s not-so-secret prisons, however, is Camp Delta at the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base. The prison received its first inmates in early 2002. Since then, it has been plagued with problems that have collectively been a public relations nightmare for the Bush administration.
