Final exam survival guide

Posted by admin on Dec 1, 2009 in Academy | 1 comment

Supplies
When preparing for a disaster like final exams, it’s essential to furnish yourself an Exam Survival Kit (ESK). Include in your kit: emergency contact information, construction paper, coloured markers, a non-school-related boring text, hot chocolate mix, a Bible and finger paint. Other useful items may include plastic army men, a dozen packets of JELLO mix and tin foil.

Initial Action
When notified of an encroaching exam, call your emergency contact immediately and elicit as much pity as you can in two minutes. Remember, it’s okay to cry. Then, isolate yourself in a cool room lit with Eye Saver Easy Reading Bulbs and no Internet connection.
Turn to the Psalms in your Emergency Study Bible. Praying through Psalm 118:17, “I shall not die, but I shall live,” sets a positive tone for the study session.

For the Uninspired
Make studying a craft instead of a pain by writing each topic’s notes on different coloured construction paper with complimenting markers.
Give the topic a defined space, say, one page, for bulleted points and brief explanations. Include page references. Rewrite these notes, refining and condensing them onto a smaller space. Repeat until your notes fit on one-sixteenth of a sheet of construction paper.

Don’t neglect your love language; studying is just as much a part of living as actual living. Do you feel loved through touch? Give yourself a really loud high five. Are you the acts of service type? Clean up your own eraser bits. Affirmed through words? Try: “Wow, the whites of my eyes are a lovely shade of pink!” Thrive on gifts? Wrap an ESK hot chocolate pouch in construction paper and top it with an origami bow. Into quality time? Don’t worry. You’ll be spending lots of time with just you and yourself in that nice little isolation room.

Bring life to your studies by reading your notes aloud in various voices or by finger painting a concept you don’t understand.

If you find the content of your studies boring, grab your ESK and retrieve the boring text. Perhaps it’s your iTunes License Agreement or a printout of the definition of ‘the.’ Read it then return to the much more stimulating material you were previously working with.

For the Overly Tired
Try flexing various muscles such as any of the three gluteus muscles or the quads while you continue studying.

If your will is pushing towards daylight but your body is pushing saliva over your lips and forcing your eyelids closed, don’t lose hope. Dump out the remaining contents of your ESK and devise a simple yet devastating prank for someone in a nearby isolation room.

The greater the consequences of the prank, the less likely you are to fall asleep due to paranoia from the threat of revenge. Remember this simple formula: the better the prank, the higher your heart rate, the longer you’ll be able to stay up.