Christmas music

Posted by Mathew Braun on Dec 11, 2011 in Arts & Culture | 1 comment

It is Christmastime. Again. For many that brings to mind images of snowflakes, printed sweaters, eggnog with rum, and of course Christmas music. I love Christmas music. I also hate Christmas music. It seems paradoxical, but I don’t believe there is a better medium to properly express the feeling of the holidays. Just as we can embrace the holiday spirit without demanding everyone to “Have a Merry Christmas” or force copious amounts of chocolate oranges down our throats while posing for portraits with our family and cats dressed in matching sweaters and Santa hats, we can also love the nostalgia of Christmas music while equally hating the overuse of sleigh bells and children’s choirs in every rendition of “Frosty the Snowman.”

It’s a tradition that everyone in the northern hemisphere is affected by. You can’t avoid it. Every time I walk into the grocery store or step in line at a Starbucks, Maria Carey’s voice squeaks out the line “all I want for Christmas, is yooouuuu…” and a part of me dies inside. It’s masochistic really. I love Maria Carey. I would die a thousand times over to be her computer technician. I would learn how to be a computer technician. Like a moth to a flame, I will always come back to “Merry Christmas” as a child will always lick a frozen chairlift.

As I trudge through the beginnings of yet another Holiday season, I am slowly recognizing that, while most Christmas music does suck, it is also some of the most memorable music that I will keep coming back to. Consider Eartha Kitt’s “Santa Baby,” a dryly sexual and unbearably sensual personal wish list that never fails to raise eyebrows. Or the Sisyphean waking dream of the mythical, never-arriving white Christmas in Dean Martin’s “White Christmas.” These are the songs that keep me coming back for more. So why do I hate Christmas music so much?

Justin Beiber. I hate Christmas music because of Justin Beiber, specifically his bastardization of “Little Drummer Boy.” Justin, I do not want to hear about your adolescent longings as you wait “under the mistletoe” for a chance to strike an unwitting “shorty” while your “chestnuts [are] roasting like a hot July.” Please, for the love of Jesus, don’t make Christmas club music.

So what then is good Christmas Music? In my opinion, Christmas Music is best served up by cool Jazz interpretations. In a world of niche tastes and disposable pop artists, the few Christmas songs that all musicians record over and over again are the last standards by which we can judge a classic song that crosses all cultures, generations, races, and religions. These are the songs begging to be taken apart or given new shadings simply so that we can stand to listen to them again. And again. Every. Single. Christmas.

Eartha Kitt – Santa Baby

Originally recorded in 1956, this song is a tongue in cheek look at a young woman’s extravagant Christmas wish list addressed to a very wealthy and eager “Santa”. Eartha’s sultry tone, coupled with Henri René’s playful use of brass will be sure to have you begging santa to slide down your chimney… tonight.

Nat King Cole Trio – The Christmas Song

An absolute classic. Though originally written and performed by Melvin Tormé, most will agree that Nat King Cole did it best. This song was recorded four times by Cole, yet my personal favorite is the 1946 recording which features only a piano, upright bass, and jazz guitar.

Louis Armstrong – Christmas in New Orleans

No one can deny Armstrong at Christmas time. Though he ribbits about New Orleans, this particular track was recorded in Los Angeles in 1955. Accompanied by Benny Carter’s orchestra, this song brings to mind all the things we love about the season, as well as Louis Armstrong.

Vince Guaraldi Trio – O Tannenbaum

Charlie Brown! This song gets me every single time: perfect smooth Christmas jazz, a tiny tree, and a motley crew of cartoon kids putting on a pageant. The true meaning of Christmas? Just ask Lynus. I’ll have an eggnog latte please.

Baby Its Cold Outside – Bing Crosby & Doris Day

Whats more in tune with the holidays than hijacking an unsuspecting preteen and spiking her drink. Creep? Just a good Samaritan. Crimes? I say tradition, or at least Bing Crosby does. Really though, try to remove the predatory imagery and focus on what Holiday season is truly about. How cold it is outside.

Mathew Braun