The Bargainhunterz vs: dating

Posted by admin on Feb 2, 2011 in Arts & Culture | 0 comments

As Valentine’s Day approaches, love is in the air, and though our hearts may be full, our wallets remain empty. Dating is to Trinity Western University as poverty is to students. Us males know that thanks to Captain Chivalry we are forced to foot the bill when it comes to — cue Enrique Iglesias voice — endeavors of love. This generosity is forced upon us by our culture in the same way that Mattson requires us to pay up, or else.
Our relationship casualty rate is titanic and, like Rose and Jack, women literally slip out of our grasp. However, we have managed to maintain very short-term relationships, and this broad selection of broads has given us a wide sample of what women want out of a date.
We went to our bargain hunting secret hideout and ran the data, comparing affordability with excellent date ideas. This is what our crack team of monkeys — I mean Bargainscientistz, came up with:

1. The romantic comedy: watching The Notebook is not cute, it will end with you looking after a weepy schoolgirl for three hours. However, if you were to watch Jerry Macguire on VHS — 25 cents at your local thrift store — you have the Bargainhunterz seal of approval that you will save money and you can watch a sports movie while she watches Tom Cruise and Renée Zellweger fall in love at the same time.
2. Shakespeare is all online now, right?
3. Double dates: the greatest date invention since the advent of “counting shoulders.” It literally cuts your cost in half! Share a cab, share popcorn, share a date! Amazing!
4. Who needs a trip to the zoo or the aquarium when you have a bounty of natural life right here on campus. Think of the grace of the rabbit, and the majesty of the goose.
5. Construction paper cards: if it’s made by someone half your age, it’s charming. When you make it, it’s twice as charming!
6. Stay away from curry, trust us.
Whether renewing a long-lasting love or stoking a fresh flame; young and old alike cannot deny the beauty of a lovely night together, and if she does deny you, there’s plenty of fish in the sea, son. Seriously guys, the ratio here is 3:1, you can’t strike out that many times, can you?

Here’s looking at you, kidz!

<3

Jason+Kirk