The Bargainhunterz vs: interior design

Posted by admin on Mar 9, 2011 in Arts & Culture | 0 comments

Look kidz, it’s March. Those bare walls in your dorm room are no longer going to cut it. This means you, Tim Stinson; your High School Musical poster hardly constitutes for adequate décor. There is no doubt that these drab and dreary prison cells have driven students to near insanity, even their grades are suffering because of it. Having spent reading break in Kazakhstan studying the art of Feng Shui under Grand Master Larry Dickenson, we have returned to bring the students of Trinity Western University what we call “style enlightenment.” Here are the top tips from the Larry Dickenson:

1. Master Dickenson didn’t become a Grand Master by working hard on mountain tops, or utilizing teamwork while rowing, or even exerting effort in a tug-of-war. He attributes his greatest successes to his laminated, limited-edition “Hang in There” motivational kitten poster — cats are people too.
2. Gentlemen, Dickenson assures that chicks dig pleasant living spaces. A few tulips in a vase attract the laydeez. Of course, as Bargain Hunterz we understand that actual flowers are expensive. Next November, be sure to save all your leftover poppies for a bouquet of sombre proportions.
3. Often times, a simple scent can liven up a room. Instead of fancy hoo-hah such as potpourri or a glade plug-in, a prolonged blast of Axe “Dark Temptation” Body Spray you found on the shelf in the bathroom can work wonders.
4. Overkill only works for Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stalone, and Jason Statham. Remember, much like Charmin Ultra (another great bargain), less is more.
5. We know what you are thinking: “A dorm room? That’s expensive, and the height of TWU extravagance. Is this really necessary?” That is a question our own Jason Vander-Hoek has answered in full. “Rooms are for children and invalids. The true test of growing up is living on your own… in a bush. No electricity bills, no cable or internet, heck, you’re probably not even buying any food. Verily I say to you that there is no bargain greater than true poverty.” It’s biblical! Thanks to lessons learned at Larry Dickenson’s casa, su casa is now worthy of being mi casa (burrito Wednesday’s at Su Casa are the best).

Hasta la vista, kidz.
<3

Kirk + Jason