Kirk + Andy versus: The gift exchange
As bargain hunters we get invited to a number of Christmas parties (zero’s a number), and we always come prepared.
Kirk Anderson
In our age of corporate Christmas parties there is oft a cap on price for a gift exchange. Your colleagues do not want you to be the one to give the pen and three sticks of Juicy Fruit that were in your pocket when you arrived, they want something significant, something memorable, something with a perceived cash value of roughly ten dollars.
As students we are ones who do things at the last possible moment, and everybody’s favourite small business wreckin’ mega-chain, Walmart is here to help. They’ve expanded their hours to the whole month of December and outnumbered customers with employees by a four-to-one ratio (at least that’s what it’s like at 4 a.m.).
To guide you through the mess of packages, boxes and bags, we have done the searching for you. Here are five treasures that will work at any $10 gift exchange (all prices exclude HST).
1. $9.96 plastic lightsaber. We wouldn’t suggest wielding it without the force — or at least a sweet moustache. This gift will definitely reach it’s maximum three trades.
2. 10K gold earrings for, you guessed it, $10. Seemed like a good idea for your seventh grade girlfriend, why wouldn’t it work at a Christmas party?
3. $10 pants. Good enough for your dad, good enough for your colleagues.
4. 10 bags of $1 Regular Potato Chips — it sends those bland and tasteless vibes the ladies love.
5. $9.98 double feature of Daredevil and Elektra — Jennifer Garner is a mega-babe, and this is a mega-deal.
With these gifts, you’ll either be a bigger hit than the untouched fruitcake or next year you just won’t get invited to their stupid gift exchange party (watching Chevy Chase in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation by yourself is way better anyways).
<3
Kirk+Andy
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