November 2, 2006 | Leave a Comment
Most people believe there are approximately 24 hours in a day. They are correct. In fact, there are exactly 24 hours in a day.
In a similar thought, doctors recommend that a person receive approximately eight hours of sleep per night in order to make full use of the remaining 16.
So my question to you, dear reader, is not ‘how many hours of sleep do you get?’ as you may have thought I would ask. No, you fool, my question is this: how safe are you while you are sleeping?
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Posted by Kristin | Filed Under 11, Humour, 4
November 2, 2006 | Leave a Comment
How often do you fall down? Do pieces of the ceiling ever just, like, fall on you when you walk into a store? Do you ever stub your toe while sitting at a desk and then reactively jerk your knee up and hit yourself in the jaw with your own leg, causing you to bite your tongue, making it bleed? In how many places do you hurt right now? By asking yourself these questions, you’ve begun to think about what it would be like to be me, a boy who is both generally unlucky and hopelessly clumsy.
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Posted by Kristin | Filed Under 11, Humour, 4
November 2, 2006 | Leave a Comment
Being a President’s Scholarship winner, you’d think I’d be smart, but my reputation usually proves otherwise. The problem is this: I never learn. Such was the case this past Friday as I found myself walking towards two security guards who had, it turns out, just put a wheel-clamp on my car. It occurred to me as I walked over (in slow motion, of course) to beg for mercy, that if I had ever stopped to ponder the lessons life has been trying to teach me, I could have avoided the situation entirely.
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Posted by Kristin | Filed Under 11, Humour, 4
November 2, 2006 | Leave a Comment
There are very few days when a person actually wakes up perfectly refreshed and ready to start his day. Of my over 8 200 days on this earth, I promise you I can count all of my perfect sleeps on one hand.
In fact, one of the few times I awoke and audibly said to myself, “This is going to be a good day,” I ended up leaping out of my top bunk, only to have my foot get caught in my bed sheets. With my foot still caught my body continued forward. I smacked my temple on the corner of my desk, and blood rushed excitedly out of my head. I crawled back to bed immediately and skipped all of my classes for the day.
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Posted by Kristin | Filed Under 11, Humour, 4
November 2, 2006 | Leave a Comment
If you’re like me, you probably like to talk. A lot. Almost incessantly. The conversation of others is like an irritating burr, rubbing against your pink, tender flesh. Sometimes, you want to take a Billy club to the head of the person you’re talking with just to make their monotonous whining stop, so you can get back to talking about what really matters.
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Posted by Kristin | Filed Under 11, Humour, 4
November 2, 2006 | 1 Comment
There he is, two seats away. He’s so keen! Look at him: forward posture on his seat, as if the professor’s knowledge will only reach him if he sits wide-eyed like he has just seen a beautiful girl. How could consumer surplus (on a downward sloping demand curve) possibly interest him so much? Why is he so keen? Why am I not so keen?
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Posted by Kristin | Filed Under 11, Humour, 4
October 18, 2006 | Leave a Comment
Download the song: here
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October 17, 2006 | Leave a Comment
Do you ever feel neglected by your friends? Ever feel jealous of the class clown? Want to make a difference in your life? Try plagiarism. Or more specifically try ripping off a joke that some idiot foolishly recorded on film.
Comic geniuses Louis and Auguste Lumiere (also known for inventing the motion picture) started comedy film with their classic Baby’s Dinner. If you watch the flick, keep a close eye out for a passerby totally falling prey to a 19th century banana peel joke.
