A Cry Out of Chaos

Posted by admin on Oct 29, 2005 in Community | 0 comments

It all started with a great conversation.

I was talking to a good friend of mine, Tyler Dingman, who some of you may know as “The Ladykiller,” but that’s beyond the point. The point of my article is this: I need a PA (personal assistant, for those of you who are not into acronyms).

I have put this article in the Mars’ Hill as a desperate cry for help. I need someone to organize me – my thoughts, my day-to-day life, and even a potential date or two (which is highly unlikely, considering I have put an ad in the Mars’ Hill to have someone assist me in getting my life together).

Anyhow, The Ladykiller and I were sitting in a coffee shop, discussing things that we would like to see happen within the GrassRoots ministry, when he randomly remarked that I need a secretary. Y’see, for those who don’t know me, I am chaos. This head of mine has so many ideas, goals, desires, dates, plans, etc., that it is nearly impossible for me to get anywhere with anything at any time. Brandon Ware suggested to me that the title for the position should be “personal assistant,” rather than “secretary” (my first choice); that way the term is politically correct, and can apply to either gender.

I also realized that I am not the only man in this predicament. I was talking to some other upperclassmen guys and they, too, realized that having a personal assistant would be most appreciated. Of course, we would all prefer a female, because women are kinder overall and well… we’re guys.

But more importantly than just being guys, we’re hopeless guys. Hopeless guys who are striving to improve themselves. My friends’ names are: David Olson, Bryden Russell, Tyler Dingman, Wes Armstrong, and Matt Heckel. All of these men, including myself, are more than willing to become better, to become more organized, effective, and socially capable in the university setting.

Yes, ladies, I know that all these guys are very eligible bachelors, but I promise, this is not a pathetic plea for a date. It is an honest request for a personal assistant who wouldn’t mind putting up with our crap, disorganization, bad habits and social ineptitude. We need someone patient and loving who would appreciate organizing, assisting, and appropriating our time, individually. We also feel like we might have a nugget or two of wisdom for the people willing to be our personal assistants, so it would be a give-and-take process.

If you would like to assist any of us in becoming better, more organized men, please contact me at willingtohelp@gmail.com. In the subject line, please indicate the individual you would be willing to assist. In the body, please include your contact information (name, phone number, e-mail and box number), and why you are interested in this position.
Thank you,
Tom Parks

PS – The e-mail is valid, and this is real, so please respond.