“I’m worried about people thinking I’m not as good as they are, or thinking that there’s something wrong with me,” says a second year Trinity Western University student, who has been diagnosed with depression and bi-polar disorder. “I’m worried about people thinking that God is punishing me for the sin in my life and that’s why I’m having these issues,” she said. “Some people think if you pray and honestly believe in Him, God would take [the mental illness] from you,” she explains. She does not believe in this view, stating “I wouldn’t be sick if that were the case.”

The student has struggled with depression since 6th grade, and has been unofficially diagnosed with bipolar disorder since last Christmas break. Many different symptoms have stemmed from her depression, including psychosis, auditory and visual hallucinations, obsessive compulsive disorder tendencies, partial short-term memory loss, and depression.

With medications like Abilify, Cymbalta and Klonopin, her mental illness is not obvious to those around her. “I hide it really well,” she said. “People don’t know unless I tell them.” She does not think it would be wise to tell everyone she meets. “You don’t want the wrong people to find out and label you the wrong way,” she said. However, she sees no reason to be completely closed on the topic. “If it comes up in conversation, or if people ask, I’ll tell them,” she said.

Even though other people might not realize she has a mental illness, school presents other challenges for her. “It’s really hard to keep up with the day-to-day activities, and sometimes I just really don’t feel like going to class,” she said. “It is hard for me to concentrate on schoolwork.” There are further challenges when it comes to being social. “Social life is difficult for me, especially not feeling social,” she said. “Because it takes me twice as long to do assignments, [afterwards] I have to force myself to hang out with people,” she said. “Sometimes when the dorm has activities, I really don’t want to participate.”

Taking advantage of TWU’s counseling services has helped her balance school and her mental illness. “It gives you a chance to look at all of your issues from a different, professional perspective,” she said. Going to counseling was hard for her at first. “It is admitting you have a problem,” she explained. “There is nothing wrong with it,” she said.