To the future homemakers of Trinity Western,

As Fort Douglas Week looms over the women in residence, the ladies have responded by holding a little something called Diva Days. This opportunity, I’m sure, was intended only for those wanting to obtain their MRS degree and that ring by spring. Not in any way does this event place women in the stereotypical “woman” box.

Some of the girls from Fraser thought that we could add to the delightful Diva Days with some more fun activities that will help drive women’s liberation movements back by centuries. To start we suggest Knocked-up-barefoot-in-the-kitchen Day. On this day, women will proudly embrace their maternal futures by sporting a robust pregnant belly, no shoes, no socks, and a mop. No longer will women feel the need to impress by sporting skanky skirts, instead men can choose their partner by merely seeing the finished product.

Secondly, we recommend that the women, in preparation for marital bliss, offer their valued services to the men of Trinity by scrubbing their toilets with a toothbrush. Not only will this be an educational event, but we will fulfill our true life purpose by living to serve and submit to the male species. If all is successful, we may be able to remove that odor wafting out of Douglas.

It is amazing that women are encouraged to play the game Assassins as it may cause them to deviate from their natural poise, and ladylike etiquette. It would certainly be sinful to be involved with sports such as football, soccer, or even canoe-racing. Women would definitely not be interested in mud wrestling for, although it would work wonders for our delicate skin, it may damage our dainty nails. Besides, wrestling may cause us to work up a sweat, and real ladies don’t sweat– they glow.

Now, the Divas haven’t had the opportunity to flaunt their amazing cooking skills, and so we suggest for the final day, a bake-off. The winner of this of this bake-off has a jump start on husband hunting, by bringing her goodies to the very manly men of Fort Douglas Week, in a wicker basket hung by her arm, with ribbons in her hair. It goes without saying that the skirt will come in handy as she will surely win the man of her dreams, and they will ride off together on a valiant steed. Ending the day will be a foot-popping kiss against the backdrop of the setting sun. All together now…. “Awwww!”

The genteel debutantes of 3C