Fashion tips with Will Graham
February 13, 2007
Will Graham
Spring has sprung! Well, it’s about to. I promise. You will soon emerge from your rainproof cocoons and bask in the sunlight, breathing in the scent of freshly cut grass, listening to the soothing sounds of our returning geese.
Spring fever will erupt, and exams will soon be upon us. But most importantly, the prevailing Vancouver darkness will lift, and next thing you know, it will stay bright out until six, even seven o’clock! And that means people will see you. Have you put any thought into what you will wear?
Let’s be honest, the world we live in is fickle, and fashion is no exception. Things have changed, and if you want to avoid looking staler than a Sodexho donut at closing time, you better pick up some new duds. If you take the words Will Graham, scramble them around, add and subtract some letters, you get the words Fashion Guru, so I think I’m pretty qualified to give you some tips.
1) Go with a theme! People like to label you and place you in a box. Why not help them out? And since it will be spring soon, I’d go with that. Springs. Yep, nothing says “I’m so hardcore that I’m not afraid of tetanus” like a big suit of rusty springs!
2) Pink camouflage is the future. Get on that train.
3) Tattoos are old and piercings have lost their shock value. I suggest you take it one step further and install a flat panel TV into your stomach. You’ll look bad to the bone and you’ll be the life of the party.
4) Do like the street racers do: wear spinners, install a neon glow kit in your shoes, get a pumping stereo and put it in your backpack, and maybe bolt a big race wing to the top of your head. I guarantee you’ll get noticed.
5) Wear blue jeans. Why? They go with everything.
Now you go...
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