The staff list of the cafeteria gets more turnover than the steaks they cook on the grill.

 

Everyone seems to learn more about Cal Townsend than what he teaches.

 

DTR actually stands for Destroy The Relationship

 

The selling pitch for your S.O.S. Group is that it provides you with university-long friendships. At least I think that’s what they said, I haven’t heard from any of them for 4.5 years.blue_twu

 

TWUSA President: the student with the most leadership, student awareness, and vision for a brighter Trinity future. Or, put in more simple terms: Clique ringleader.

 

Mars’ Hill: Now that’s what I call fake news.

 

O-Week: just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, then comes Banana Challenge. And then when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, then comes Fort Week. And then, when you thought—nevermind.

 

As far as most people are concerned, CANIL is—
Wait what the heck is CANIL?!

 

None of the TWU financial decision-makers drive further into campus than the Reimer parking lot. In other news: all the roads on campus past the Reimer parking lot haven’t been fixed in two decades.

 

Even after all this time, no one outside of SAMC knows what SAMC stands for. And the only Spartans who have ever heard of SAMC are the ones in SAMC.

 

Freshman academy: Trinity’s best kept secret.

 

POND: Point Of No (relationship) Development

 

More ladybugs are spotted in the campus bathrooms than literally everywhere else combined.

 

Open Mic: the only things that are open are your vulnerabilities and your concepts of pitch.

 

The students who break the covenant most are always Torch Students. Except for me of course…
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