Living in the city is too expensive, so I sleep in the atrium now
By Cam Thiessen
It’s one of those things where you always hear about it happening, but you never thought that it would happen to you. Well, it happened to me. I spent all my money before paying my rent, and now I’ve decided to sleep in the Atrium for the rest of the semester. I know what you’re thinking. “You can’t sleep in the Atrium,” you say. “Security will kick you out!” Well actually, it turns out that bribing the entire TWU security staff is actually significantly cheaper than monthly $500 dollar rent payments, and that nice man at the gate doesn’t stick to deadlines like my landlord did.
“But where do you keep your things?” This is where friends come in. The key to living in the Atrium is consolidating your belongings to a small selection of various dwellings occupied by your friends. If you’re going to rough it in the Atrium to stay alive for the sake of your friends and loved ones, keeping your giant box of Magic: The Gathering cards in his room is the least that Matt can do for you.
Once you have strategically placed all of your personal items on the couches of various friends, you’re ready to sleep in the Atrium. Assure that you remember which friends have which items, to ensure quick and easy access to important items. Another important tip is to make sure that you always have some sort of plan for discreetly consuming and disposing of alcoholic beverages in TWU’s public places. After all, you have to live there.
It’s not easy dealing with the financial difficulties of attending TWU while also sustaining your mortal flesh. Getting out of that expensive, consumeristic city and moving to the Atrium can really help your budget. The move makes for a fun sort of little vacation for you and your favorite plush toy.
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