Summer highs and lows

Posted by Ashley Kilian on Sep 19, 2011 in Humour | 0 comments

The five best parts about summer (in no particular order):

1) Sunglasses:
Have you ever noticed that nearly everyone looks better in sunglasses? This is precisely why I love summer. Instead of being a nine on a scale from one to 10, with my sunglasses on, I’m a 10—or, a “dime,” as all the cool kids are saying these days. This must be why Corey Hart started wearing his sunglasses at night. He might just be onto something.

2) Dollar Drink Days at McDonald’s.

3) Dress code:
“In with summer, out with the dress code!” That’s the saying, right? It sure seems that way. As soon as the sun comes out (it doesn’t matter if it’s a mere 15 degrees outside), the tops come off and suddenly it’s as if men forget they don’t have a six-pack, and girls feel like it’s appropriate to wear their bikini top to the mall.

4) Camping:
Why shower when you don’t have to? Camping is the perfect excuse to forgo personal hygiene, sit all day, and eat hot dogs and [non-alcoholic] beer for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

5) Reading for leisure:
Do you remember those days when you picked up a book and read it because you wanted to? Ah, summer.

The five worst parts about summer (again, in no particular order):

1) Bikini season:
This one goes out to all of you in retail. I know your boss is pushing you to make that sale, but you (and your boss) would probably think twice if you knew you’d be the one having the misfortune of meeting her, in her new two-sizes-too-small bikini, during your day off at the beach.

2) Your favourite TV shows are off the air.

3) PDA:
I know that summer is short, and summer romances are even shorter, but seriously, the only thing worse than an ill-fitting bikini, is spending your day at the beach, crammed in like sardines, and having front-row seats to another couple’s make-out session.

4) Kids:
If summer is supposed to be relaxing and fun, why are there children? They’re everywhere during the summer, and you can’t go to the mall, the beach, or even to Chuck-E-Cheez during school hours without being assaulted by children. Explain to me how this is a vacation and not a nightmare?

5) Going back to school.