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eHarmony claims to take the guesswork out of matchmaking by a scientific and psychological approach that appears to be working. This number one trusted relationship services provider satisfies 15 million customers, while statistics further show that an average of 236 members get married every day. In 2002, Wired Magazine predicted “20 years from now, the idea that someone looking for love without looking online will be silly.” Yes, online dating takes the time and effort out of looking for Mr. [...]" />

eHarmony or eDiscord?

Issues & Ideas, Volume 14 Issue 10
March 10, 2010 2:28 AM

eHarmony claims to take the guesswork out of matchmaking by a scientific and psychological approach that appears to be working. This number one trusted relationship services provider satisfies 15 million customers, while statistics further show that an average of 236 members get married every day.

In 2002, Wired Magazine predicted “20 years from now, the idea that someone looking for love without looking online will be silly.” Yes, online dating takes the time and effort out of looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, but do the relationships last long-term?

Matthew Bambling, a relationships psychologist at Queensland University of Technology, said “Romance online simply doesn’t last.” The online approach to building a relationship lacks the typical conventions and context of real life meetings with new people.

In the virtual world, it is much easier to lie about things like height, weight, and even characteristics or hobbies. People often misrepresent themselves, hoping simply to be presented in the most appealing and attractive way possible. Of course, the unsaid is left to the imagination. When online relationship participants finally physically meet, they find that the other is not quite as had been imagined.

To avoid getting emotionally involved early on, it’s best to meet your online correspondent as early as possible; it’s easier breaking up after just one coffee outing, right?

eHarmony commercials continually present couples who have successfully ‘hooked up’; yes, these couples find love, but do these high results in relationships last beyond the wedding? Psychologists acknowledge that one in every three couples who visit a counsellor has had a relationship that originated online. This tidbit, I’m sure, eHarmony does not want to promote.

Though statistics show that online relationships tend to be short-term, this does not mean we should rule out online dating. If people are honest and willing to put the time and effort into finding Mr. or Mrs. Right then the odds are with them. Just keep in mind that online relationships are in an entirely different playing field, which needs to be approached with honesty and good
communication.

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