Mars’ Love

Posted by admin on Sep 23, 2008 in Issues & Ideas | 0 comments

Ahh l’amour. The sun is in the sky, the birds are in the air, and everywhere you look, all Creation sings the joys of love and companionship.* In a perfect world, bunnies, Faerie godmothers and various cuddly portents would herald the meeting of a “great fit,” and dating would go smoothly from then on. But alas! The scene at Trinity Western University is more a realm of polytropic desire: lovely and fun in its own way, but dangerous to the heart, full of bizarre foibles, and mysterious in practice.

Two years ago, the creators of Eros’ Heroes succeeded in their vow to take their column “down with the ship,” (metaphorically speaking, the elusive “graduation”). And then there was silence. Something had to be done. So, after two years of chaos, help has arrived once more: the Love Advice Column of Mars’ Hill has returned. Write lovemarshill@gmail.com and get answers.
*Results may vary. See: arachnids.

Dear Apollo and Aphroite,
So this guy asked me out for coffee on Friday. I said “sure,” but now my dorm-mates have started making a big fuss about it. What’s the deal?
–Confused in the Caf

Confused: Basically, you just got yourself a boyfriend. Want to break his heart? You should have thought about that before saying yes, so now you’re stuck with him for a couple weeks unless you want a bad reputation. The scoop is that coffee dates are a big deal at Trinity – nowhere else in the known universe, but definitely here. The thing is, no single guys on campus have a car, so for the budding romanticist who’s campus-bound the options are limited. Very limited. So the best strategy is not to blame ‘em, just play the ‘I’ve got an essay’ card. On the other hand, if your standards are low enough to take the Big Step of going a coffee-date with a guy like that, jump into his arms the next time you see him. Unless of course, all he wanted to do was ask you out for coffee.
-Apollo

Dearest Confused,
Young people go for coffee every day and most part with nary a blown kiss. Your dorm-mates will just have to deal with the fact that a friendly get-together for coffee is not news that is worthy of being gossiping about. This is clearly not a date, though if his intentions toward you are amorous, he is doubtless tongue-tied at your youthful beauty and wants to test the waters of your affection in a safe and unpretentious manner. Worry not: all will become clear by the time you’re done sipping your latté. For the present, dwell upon the essence of him. If his attentions would touch not your soul, let the winds of your radiance blow cold on the day. However, if you can scent the gentle perfume of romance in your respective futures, go to coffee at your loveliest and pray sweet Cupid will fire his golden arrows into the heart of your would-be beloved.
Infinites of love, Aphrodite