Shallow talkers

Posted by admin on Jan 20, 2009 in Issues & Ideas | 0 comments

“Would you look at that rain!” or “I have sooo much due this week!” are phrases you commonly hear around meal times and other chit-chat hot spots. But when was the last time you engaged in conversation beyond topics of weather, the common cold, your lack of sleep or your current scholastic anxieties? Better yet, when was the last time you discussed issues of profound significance? Or any significance at all? In our individualistic, overscheduled, fast-paced society, it is clear we have lost what once was a prized quality of character – the art of conversation.

How is conversation an art? Don’t we all know how to talk? Conversation is an art, like the art of acting – both require thorough experience to be honed into a worthy craft. While an actor may be blessed with natural talents, his or her craft still needs much practice to be developed into an effective and excellent skill. In the same way, while we all know how to communicate and exchange words in simple interactions, we no longer value crafting our conversing abilities. Our lives are too busy for us to learn and practice artful conversation.

There was a time when the art of conversation was one of the most sought after and appreciated qualities of society. Social functions were not just about having the most fashionable attire of the crowd or being able to dish out the most pungent sarcasm, but rather about exchanging thoughts, opinions and ideas about things that really mattered. Okay, maybe there has always been a craving for gossip and meaningless small talk, but there was a time when the common practice was to move beyond this shallow arena of conversation.

While content is one downfall of conversation today, the bigger downfall of our generation is not what we discuss, but how we discuss. We have a substantial problem in the areas of listening and asking questions. First, in an age of hyper-stimulation, we have grown to expect constant entertainment. So let’s face it, listening to someone flush out his or her opinions in a casual setting can sometimes be sleep-inducing. Our shorter attention spans cause us to just tune people out after a while. Second, we don’t know which question to ask in order to bring about the most insightful response. Why not ask another for their thoughts on that burning issue we have been wrestling with? How about asking someone why they believe something? We may be taken aback by what people have to say when asked the right questions.

Perhaps there is a time and place for friendly “hellos” and “would-you-look-at-the-weathers!”, but should there not also be a time and a place for delving into matters of great importance? With all the heavy ideas tossed around in our classes, would it not be beneficial to digest these thoughts within healthy, stimulating conversation?

Stepping outside of our comfort zone to listen intently and to ask profound questions will not only lead to discussions of greater significance, but will also encourage respect and interest in one another’s thoughts. And hey, we all might even learn something! So let’s break the mould of surface interactions and rediscover the joy of dialogue with depth that is artful conversation.