I. People talk about nothing. Always. Everywhere.
At Save-On-Foods today two ladies behind me discussed the consequences of buying bananas that are unripe, too green, too tough. They don’t blend well and they have a funky taste and kids don’t like the sight of them. This is what filled the air as the cashier rang my skim milk and frozen berries through the register. That will be $11.82.
 
II. Chitchat is silent garble: it is the ground beef of communication. Written thought is prime rib, roaring and red.
In the car I mention to someone I just read that Kanye West has had a hard year; his mom died and he and his fiancé broke up too. I think this is funny. I think it’s funny because who gives a dime about Kanye’s life? But if you like we can discuss the ripeness of bananas – anything to avoid real talk.

III. Because real talk has been tried before.
We had just finished doing a Tim Tam Slam Jam, where everyone dips their cookie in hot chocolate and slams it in their mouth. The mood was jovial; the room teetered on the cliff of laughter, such that the slightest poke would send it over. You don’t just casually incorporate the mortal reality of humanity in these settings. You don’t go around the room and ask people when they were most happy, or what they believe or how to make the world more beautiful.

The chitchat is necessary, bonding even. Somewhere between the weather in Calgary and the cuteness of your hat we might, maybe, a teensy bit get to know each other. And isn’t that what we all want? To be known?
 
IV. But please, let’s leave it at the fabric on your head because if we push it any further things might get uncomfortable.
A smile crosses my face when I pass someone on the street and he says, “What’s up?” as interchangeably as “Hello.” He breezes by me before I can get a word out. Is our culture’s fear of meaningful discourse so transparent that we no longer hide our complete apathy towards the lives of others? And worse, who answers that question now?

Contrary to popular belief, the contents of your life will never be “not much.” We are human – there is much.
 
V. It’s in the in-betweens.
The banana blather at Save-On might just be a minute-long dialogue of no consequence, or it could be a segue into something significant. When we pay attention to what people are saying, what they are saying – not just with their mouths, but with their eyes, their bodies, their tone – we will find the words to take the chitchat up a level.

Ground beef does give us tacos, after all.