My Prince is worth the wait
Re: “Not looking for happily ever after” (MH, Jan. 24)
February 8, 2007
Krista West
When I read the headline of “Not looking for happily ever after” in the last issue of Mars’ Hill, I knew that I was going to be confronted with another fairy tale-bashing commentary.
Personally, I am sick and tired of fairy tales being blamed for the relationship issues that women have today. I agree that waiting around for something so far in the clouds that even Jack’s beanstalk couldn’t reach it is, in Sarah Endacott’s words, “far from healthy.”
But the fact of the matter is that whether women have grown up with Sleeping Beauty or not, they struggle with manipulation and the fear of not being in control. Fairy tales were designed to help us overcome these familiar strongholds, not to perpetuate a false sense of security. In Genesis, God said to Eve, “Your desire will be for your husband.” Some interpret these words to mean, “You may desire to control your husband.” It seems that control issues have been around longer than any fairy tale.
So here are my questions for the reader: why are our control issues the fault of fairy tales? Why should we tear down one of the most beautiful and inspirational ways of communicating virtue? When will we start taking responsibility for the way we have interpreted these tales of valour and purity?
In the tale of Snow White, the fact that Snow White lived at peace in the midst of sketchy circumstances, and that her purity and peacefulness attracted the “son of a King,” are rarely pointed out. The story does not imply perfection, but instead emphasizes the beauty of a woman who maintains a sense of purity and lives her life without bitterness.
Similarly, Sleeping Beauty is characterized by honesty, purity, kindness, and patience. Put under a curse, she fell asleep for 100 years and could only be awakened by true love’s kiss. Sleeping Beauty just happened to wake when the prince arrived at her castle, after braving the briers to find her.
It is easy to get anxious waiting for “right time” or “right one,” but that isn’t the point. The point is that love happens when it happens. And although our future may be unknown, our prince shouldn’t be afraid to pursue us, and we shouldn’t be afraid to accept it when it does happen.
“Happily ever after” is typically interpreted as “perfectly ever after,” but I challenge the reader to look again. The writer of the fairytale uses “happily ever after” to point out that the story goes on. There is no implication of perfection; the fairy tales simply show that no matter what may come the heroines’ way, they remained happy. Is that too much to wish for?
Women should worry less about the when and how their prince will sweep them off their feet, and should focus instead on who they are when he comes. Let us then look to the hope found in our beloved fairytales. Let us seek the qualities we desire and patiently let love happen, without manipulation or need for control. Let us read fairy tales and embrace “happily ever after” when it comes.
Now you go...
3 Responses to “My Prince is worth the wait”
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I appreciate what you said near the end with, “our prince shouldn’t be afraid to pursue us, and we shouldn’t be afraid to accept it when it does happen.” From experience, I found that girls would often compain to each other, “why is there never the right man?!” Yet when those same girls would be approached by men, they would cower away without even considering giving that man a chance. Now I have found my true love, but I had to pursue her for 7 months with much diligence and prayer, and finally she got over that fear and took a chance. I only hope that more girls will be willing to give the man a chance, otherwise Rapunzel is really just pulling her hair back up to the window each time a prince comes.
At risk of stating the obvious, women are not damsels in distress. Rather, they are, or can be, healthy and functioning human beings. I find the Rapunzel metaphor demeaning, though her hair was admittedly impressive.
hahaha… I find your angry comment funny, but seriously what’s wrong with being a healthy and functioning human being and also a princess needing rescuing. to go through life saying that you don’t need anyone would be the suckiest thing on earth because you’d just end up dying a lonely person, and that applys to both men and women. maybe you’re just afraid to admit that you are in need of rescuing… always a possibility.