A journey of healing
On the evening of Feb. 10, Trinity Western University women’s volleyball player Kim Klassen was driving home to Abbotsford when she was struck by an impaired driver. Both her physical and psychological world changed in that moment.
“I was driving along and he was in my lane, actually so far over he was more like on the shoulder of my lane, coming straight for me, but it all happened so fast that I just remember seeing lights coming at me and the road slopes so then I lost the lights and then saw them again. He hit my vehicle head-on,” said Klassen. The other driver died upon impact.
She remembers being in a lot of pain but still having the presence of mind to assess her situation. “I had been in another serious head-on collision about four years prior, so memories of that flashed back.”
Her injuries were extensive; she sustained neck and back injuries, soft tissue damage, and a concussion. But beyond the physical, the psychological impact of the event was also traumatic.
“It took me quite a few months before I drove again and I still have difficulty driving, especially at night,” Klassen explained. “I knew that I had to drive again, but it is always difficult knowing that in both of my car accidents I could not have prevented them. Every time you drive you are trusting that the other people on the road are going to stay in their lane and drive where they are supposed to.”
Klassen has had to process all that one would expect to come with experiencing a trauma: wondering why it happened to her, how her injuries are going to affect the rest of her life, how it would be to return to school and volleyball. “There are just so many things that were going through my head about how my life would be affected by the accident,” she said. “I’m still dealing with a lot of them.”
What was most difficult for Klassen was that she remembers so much of the incident. “I have dealt with guilt even though it wasn’t my fault; I just felt that if only I had not been driving home at that time or was somehow able to swerve out of the way. I have also felt just sadness that someone had to lose their life for making such a stupid decision.”
Klassen had a lot of support systems around her though family and friends. “They encouraged me, prayed for me, visited me, drove me around, brought me candy, gave me presents and listened to me as I dealt with the aftermath of the accident.”
She also realized, however, that it might take a little more to help her process and get through what had happened to her. She currently meets with a counselor from the TWU Wellness Centre. “I did not want to go to counselling at first,” Klassen said, “but I have found it somewhat helpful. Sometimes it feels better to just forget about the whole thing but that is kind of impossible, so in that regard it is helpful to discuss [what has happened] with a counsellor.”
The recovery process is one that she thinks of as a journey, a continuous process. She feels at times that no one really understands what she is going through. At times she felt distant from God wondering how He could have let this happen to her and yet other times she felt very close to Him. She said of her inspiration, “Ultimately, I know that He has some purpose in it all even if I cannot see it now; I take comfort in [I Corinthians 13:12]: ‘For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.’”
When Klassen thought about advice she would give to someone who had been through a traumatic experience, she offered this, “For me it was important to just rest in God and focus on recovering, just taking the small steps to recover. At times, the recovery process feels excruciatingly painful and yet you will be okay. You might never be the same as before, but you will eventually learn to live again even though it is a slow process. I am still learning how to live with my new reality [even though] the pain is still there.”
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