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Ares and Athena
Dear Ares and Athena,
Hello, I heard from a friend of a friend that Mars’ Hill will be covering the issue of “food.” Hearing this got me to thinking about my own dietary choices. I wanted to ask: as a university student how can I best keep a healthy lifestyle while also getting all the good things to eat that are offered? It can be so expensive to eat healthy, and when there are McDonald’s coupons floating around it’s hard to resist just stocking up on Big Macs and Filet-o-fish. What should I do? Also, somewhat related to food, who buys when you’re out for dinner with someone from the opposing sex? Thanks.
– Hungry at home
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Oh Appetite,
Just like that time you dated what’s-their-name, what you see as “goodness” is a temporal thing; your taste buds are lying and your general perception of reality is wrong. Think about this so-called “food” you crave: can you really make the fish-fish stick connection, or is it all lies and false suggestions?
But don’t feel bad about it. I mean really – who could stop themselves from consuming processed grease that is masquerading as food? Who would resist salt-encrusted starch-logs imbued with indigestible oil breakdown products to go on the side? No, it’s not the best way to eat healthy, but ignorant gluttony is at least a warm-hearted sort of vice.
And just think of the alternative! Buying a decent head of lettuce and some apples really could break the bank. And that moment of confusion in the grocery store, trying to figure out if the tomato is a fruit or a vegetable, would just inflict too much intellectual pain, right?
To mitigate your bouts of heaping questionably-organic materials into your unsuspecting body, I’d say that exercise is the key. After all, you’re not what you burn off! And no, walking between the caf and the Lower Caf on grazing voyages does not count as your daily exercise, just so you’re aware.
Actually, as a rather apropos segue, ripping the hearts from people can be good exercise. As far as filching free food from well-meaning and unsuspecting dates, the answer is: go for it! They’re gullible enough to overlook your mercenary nature or dull enough to miss it, so each time you can coerce them into buying is another feather in your Machiavellian cap.
So go forth and consume.
– Ares
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Hello my young friend,
Keeping yourself healthy with proper dietary habits is a problem that plagues many students. There are no easy answers as most students do not have the budget to consistently eat healthy and are often strapped for time that they must simply grab the nearest Kraft dinner or cold pizza slice. But there is a better way. It may take some extra effort and sacrifice, but if one is truly concerned with their eating habits and wish to treat their bodies like the holy temples they are, then the risks will be well worth it.
The way you shop is probably the best way to change your dietary habits. Make detailed shopping lists and sticking strictly to it. You should start by cutting out the peripheral foods that you don’t need (i.e. Pop-Tarts, Doritos and pop). This will probably be the hardest part of changing as will attempting not to indulge your desire to use those pesky McDonald’s coupons. In the end, making a conscious effort to change the way you approach your food choices is the first major step you can take.
As far as your second question, that depends on the current state of your relationship. If you are just friends and the opposite gender does not offer to pay, then one should assume that the cheque will be split. However, if you feel that this person may harbour more feelings and they offer to buy, the decision is ultimately up to you. Some may feel you may be taking advantage, but others may see it as just not wanting to seem rude. So, it comes down to your state of mind, of which unfortunately I can offer no advice.
– Athena
Facing a conundrum? Let us assist you! Spill to AresandAthena[at]gmail.com and await our wisdom in the next Mars’ Hill.
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