Category: De-Classifieds


Declassifieds Issue 9 

I like how Bob Kuhn’s chapel talk on “what are you afraid of” was on the first day of Gotcha. talk about real life application.

Get a guy that can do both: sing an angelic duet and run around in only a towel

Aaron Boehmer – you may not have won the election but you won my heart! #electionfever ~Secret Admirer

New Poll: who is the hottest maintenance/grounds worker?

i feel like the back forty is trinity’s equivalent to wreck beach

is it just me or is 4x stacked?

be careful girls: hugh is the new man stealing all the girls hearts… don’t they know he’s a dog?

mars hill poll: zach with beard or zach without beard. #thisyearscontroversy

I want hugh in my room

dear nursing men, we have the same motives. love, a business girl ;)

nicole palmer is low key one of the best rappers on campus

if you haven’t listened to Braden Barwich’s Swoon spotify playlist, you’re missing out.

Spotify: Nicole Palmer: Norma. You’re welcome. Give those ears a treat fam

Bing and Millie make every NW frequenter happier ever day. HUGE SHOUTOUT

When someone borrows your pencil then proceeds to decimate the eraser #rude #worsethanstealingit

sorry for all the traffic, 2/3 low & 4/5 low. #gotcha

Mars Hill won’t stop trying to follow me on instagram #stalkers

Graham and Sofia are high key the most overrated couple on campus

Gender is like the Twin Towers, there used to be two of them and now it’s a overly sensitive issue

If people used half the amount of effort from gotcha on their work A’s would be flowin’

Due to popular demand I will be officially starting the Leigh Goossen fan club- Kevin Mc

I’m the kind of person that writes “poop” on everything…

It’s not stealing when you realize that Sodexo already charged us $75 for “stolen food”

When you pink highlight your published declassifieds and then hide the mars hill under your desk. #imsoproudofmyself #imsohappy

So much love talk around campus, please people, I’m single.

I love the snow. It reminds me of God’s blessings and grace falling from heaven…

76 hours awake-12 hours of sleep.This is midterm season.

Dating? Ain’t nobody got time for that…

Wait, if this year is 2017 then next year is 2018..

I know it’s generally good to be unique..but I think I’m too unique…like overboard unique..#different

Will our dorms ever date? Will our majors ever mingle? Will our worlds ever collide? #loveyoubutweresofaraway

Jonah Carpenter is by far the coolest and most fun guy on campus!#peace#spreadthelove

The masters students are the coolest ppl, seriously, they’re doing their masters.

I anyone ever tells you to confess to your crush…don’t…it’s a trap

I will follow Blackaby to the ends of the earth #ohcaptainmycaptain

Campus Security really needs to clamp down on these Fart-and-Runs that keep happening in public spaces

Lets get this out of the way now.  No, you cannot use my gear for Can-Am.

– #31

Back in my day we didn’t need to pull the fire alarm to get people for Gotcha #rookies

When you look at your bank account and it says $63.85. Thank you Jesus!

Chrisaleen, that article was great!

every major thinks they are the busiest major with the least time…..but mine is actually the most busiest and hardest..haha…bahaha :'(

The Canadian flag has red, the New Zealand flag has blue, if you are from the Bahamas, I’d date you

Even if I did like a guy, I would never post that in the declassifieds…I’d be too embarrassed and think that everybody knew it was me

You don’t believe me? Let’s make a bet. Winner dates loser.

The fact that your significant other has faults is just another thing you two have in common.

Dear TWU, if you are really preparing me for the real world, where is my pay check?

I am excited to graduate so that I can delete all these random TWU people off Facebook. I can’t do it now because it would be awkward when I see them the next day.

Every time you clog the toilet you’ve exceeded someone’s expectations

Everyone has been going to Neveda, Florida, California, Oregon for reading break..

I stayed on campus by myself.

I need some friends.

I was so bored this reading break that I am officially 5 weeks ahead of schedule.

Dear Marshill, how do declassifieds show up when we send them in? How do you choose which are the best ones to put in?

^ Dear reader, Joey decides all.

GO SPARTANS! We love you!!!

Getting into a science degree at university seems like a good idea, but so did going on the Titanic. And look what happened.

You know that you’re seniors when you both start crying from laughing so hard about how hard you tried to get a good GPA.

#senioritisisreal #getoutwhileyou’reahead

March snow showers bring April…dead flowers?

“I could never put a worm on a hook because that little worm is reaching out to Christ!” – Cal Townsend lecturing on why he will never fish.

You know there is never any testosterone in our apartment when my roommate yells that there is a boy coming in.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

You know the Bomber program is going strong when the Spartans start recruiting players.

“I like to call the Taco bowl from the caf the Trump Bowl, because it’s yellow, hollow, not very good, and surrounded by Mexicans”


You know this university thing is getting old when you wait for the night before to plan your course registration

Something isn’t right when it takes me 30 minutes to find the one little post TWUSA made about Grad banquet tickets. #lostinaseaofTWUSAtips #whenevenisthebanquet?

Braden needs/wants a date to grad.

Six low, you murderers of fishes.