The Rennek Files, chapter two
Pastor Ray runs amok of the courtroom
February 20, 2007
Bryan Binnema
Hello, sweet brothers ‘n’ sisters in His mighty Name.
I reckon y’all are wonderin’ what’s been goin’ on with the court trial I jawed about last time. Well, like I said before, my new neighbours sued me for property damage. Personally, I reckon they oughtta be more worried about damage to their eternal souls for goin’ up against a pastor – it ain’t Christian, you know?
‘Course, neither are they.
Well, the court hearin’ was last week. When I walked into the courthouse, one o’ my neighbour’s kinfolk (a li’l old lady) stopped me and looked all sad. She asked me, “Why would you do that to them?”
Now friends, you gotta recognize that since I’m God’s messenger, anyone who don’t unnerstand what I do is an enemy. This old bag o’ bones was clearly demon-possessed, so even though I was feudin’ with her family, I decided to do the Christian thing and cast it outta her.
I put my hand on her wrinkly li’l head and screamed, “SATAN, I CAST THEE OUT!” It musta worked, ’cause she fell down cryin’ and it took a couple o’ her relatives to git her back on her walker.
‘Course, the judge didn’t know what I was doin’. He thought I was harassin’ her, so he put handcuffs on me and called me a name. I was right sore about that, but I remembered that this is exactly what happened to the Apostle Paul, or somethin’ like it, at least.
I guess Paul was almost as persecuted as me.
The judge, he found me guilty and made me pay fer the damages. So now I gotta decide which oil fund to draw it out of – I mean, I’ve only got three. I wasn’t too mad about losin’ the money, it’s jest that usually I only do what the Lord wants me to do with my money and I was sure the Speerit was tellin’ me to add a sauna next to our hot tub. Now I can’t do that ‘till next month. Pray that Satan don’t thwart those plans.
Amen.
Now you go...
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